The sound of noodles

Noodles can't talk, but they can make a sound. It's a sound you will hear if you go to one of Japan's many noodle shops. Slurrrrrrrrp! Slurrrrrrrrp! Slurrrrrrrrp! This is the sound Japanese make when eating noodles. There are various degrees of slurping ranging from the "water draining from the bathtub slurp" to "dinosaur stuck in the tar pits slurp". Both are alarming. The latter can be unnerving even to Japanese and not for the feign of heart! The reason for the behavior can be baffling to a visitor. The noodles are sucked, along with the outside cooler air, which cools down the noodles and enables one to eat the noodles while hot. What about cold noodles? They are eaten in the same manner. Whatever the reasons are, noodles are slurped with gusto in Japan. None of your sissy, "don't make a noise while you eat" philosophy of the western world! Generally, you can a judge a persons age by the degree of slurp. Young men and woman tend to have a more reserve slurp, while the more mature person's slurp resounds with the experience of life.
The norm in Japan is to go quietly and politely about your business in public, but when it comes to eating noodles it's time to let loose your hangups about keeping the peace. Slurrrrrrrrp! Slurrrrrrrrp! Slurrrrrrrrp!The hills are alive with the sound of noodles!

Summer and the art of "Gaman"

"Gaman" loosely translated means to "tolerate, put up with, bear (not the animal)". It is also the art of patience. Which is a quality the Japanese excel. It allows 127,433,494 Japanese to wait in long lines, be stuffed in to subways, deal with earthquakes and live in crowded cities in relative peace, on land about the size of California. No better is "the art of Gaman" put to use then summer.
Summers on the main island of Japan are hot. Not the "dry hot" of deserts, but the hot, muggy and damp weather that conjures images of the Amazon jungle, New York subway stations and wet blankets. There is even a summer malady called "Natsu-bate". "Natsu-bate" is a summer lethargy caused by the heat. Symptoms are fatigue, lack of appetite and generally feeling lousy. However, there are many traditional ways to distract your mind from the oppressing sultriness. Small chimes are hung from houses , which sound like a cool breeze. Festivals with fireworks and shaved ice abound during the summer.
Still, "Gaman" "put up with it" is the method most Japanese use to survive the discomforts of Summer. As a former resident of the fraction world, I am still improving my skills in the art of "Gaman". In the mean time, I'll turn on the air conditioner and wait for autumn.

Born in the "Fraction World"

I was born into a world ruled by inches, feet, yards, miles and pounds. I vaguely remember there was an attempt to overthrow “the rulers” (bad joke), by the metric system in the past. People spoke of grams, meters and kilos for a while when I was young, but the “fraction world” remained unchanged and complicated as ever, only to be used by scientists, graphic artists and other fringe groups.
Having left the “fraction world” six years ago and arriving in the “metric world”, at first, I found life difficult. In this land, people once again spoke of the “forbidden words” such as liters, grams and even “Celsius”. With time, I gradually became accustomed to this new way of thinking. I studied the secret conversions in private, and could eventually speak these words in public myself. Although I still haven’t acquired a native sense of the “metric system”, I found I could converse with the locals. “100 grams of chicken please”, How many kilometers is it to the zoo” and “I am 170 centimeters tall” etc. became part of my daily conversation. I even married one of the local inhabitants of this world and have settled down. The other day my mate and I were discussing the purchase of a liquid crystal television. “What size should we get” I asked. She replied “How about 37 inch!”

The WAR of the WORLDS

In Japan, in the final days of February, a war is beginning. The WAR of the WORLDS! Namely,
the war between the human and plant worlds. This is the time of year when the flora and fauna take revenge on humans for ravaging and polluting their world. The first bombardment comes from the “Japanese Cedar”. The cedars release their sexual spores, commonly known as “KAFUN”, into the air. The attack is quick and savage. Many refuse to leave the house during this strike. The victims of this attack suffer from “KAFUN SHO”, better known to the western world as “hay fever”. The casualties number in the thousands. The human world’s only line of defense is a variety of surgical masks, goggles, medicines and teas. All of which, provide some relief, but are a poor defense against the potency of the menacing pollen. The survivors of the first wave usually fall victim later by a second onslaught of flowers, wild grass, vegetation and scrubs. As for me, I am one of the lucky survivors. I am one of the strong few that…ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!